Venting Post 1

Venting {Post 1}

Dated {1st June 2011, Wednesday}

Time {12:01 pm. Just came home from Math Paper 2 OLevel Exam}

So I hardly think that anyone is following this blog and really. I don't really care if anyone is or not. I don't blame you; even though I say I'll post, i haven't posted anything in years. I suck like that don't I? Oh well. What I am going to vent will probably pretty much throw people off. Sometimes you just feel like running your fingers powerfully on the keyboard until your energy and hatred just evaporates off. And 'talking' to 'someone' is the last thing I feel like doing.

So why, really, am I in such a bad mood? Well it began with the fact that my math paper didn't go so well. Usually I am not really a person to feel this shitty over a failed exam. I mean.... I didn't really FLUNK it but I kinda ran out of time and thus good bye easily-scored 6 marks!

But that's ok. It was just an exam. I am not really the kind of person to cry over something like that... or get pissed off that much.

But that doesn't really make me start off happy. So what edged me to what I am feeling right now... this anger... this hatred ... this... indescribable feeling inside of me that's eating me alive and maybe slowly kill me if I don't vent out; was the fact that I got my school magazine.

Now. I am proud to say and I will always be proud to say this; I am pretty well known person in school. And I am not bragging. NO! this is not bragging. HELL- I am actually a humble person who don't really brag.... but I NEED to say this because it's the truth. AND I deserve to be well known. I have actually put my hard work into it! I am not like other weird students who get their 'knowings' because of their amazingly vulgar and weird pictures on facebook or because of the flattering techniques practices mercilessly on the naive foolish teachers OR, the most hideous thing of all, the fact that the 'fame' and 'knowing' have been 'genetically' passed down. Yeah... I meant if your siblings were teacher's pet; definitely, you inherit their place and 'good fortune'.

So yeah. I actually worked hard in getting known. I am, like no one else the same age, intellect, intelligence, talent, skills..., better then my peers. HELL: I am even better then some professionals! I am not bragging. I am venting. And these are actually facts! Do you know anyone who has been film making like a near pro since the same 14? Do you know anyone who have been writing for 10 years and in 16 now? Do you know someone who can edit all sorts of media without failing? DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS RUNNING A STUDIO OF MORE THEN 50 MEMBERS AND IS SUCCESSFUL!?

DO YOU!?

Well of course you don't. Because, I apologize for my language, FUCK... you don't even know what I am talking about most of the time.

This is not bragging. I am venting.

So WHY is that... a person of such an intellect and such an amazing line of skills and talents... has to suffer like this? Why? Why are the people who are around me and are... HORRIBLE... totally... bad... not worth publishing type... are getting praised and made a part of the student council, awarded on the farewells and whatever? WHY NOT ME!? I have worked so hard for seven years in this FUCKING place of a school called Beaconhouse Liberty Lahore... I have worked so hard... you don't even know... SO WHY AM I NOT BEING AWARDED!?

Because I don't tell the pregnant teacher how slim she looks?

Because I don't smile sweetly and bite venomously when someones around and not?

Because I have a good personality and like to say what I think?

Because I am not a hypocrite?

Because my thoughts and IQ are so over the top that they piss the teachers off?

Really? Are you serious?

Just BECAUSE you are a teacher... just BECAUSE you the effing Principal... JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOME AUTHORITY... you have NO FUCKING RIGHT to trample over anyone. Other people might walkaway and ignore it... but I don't. Because it's wrong. And you are all going to hell. Burn in hell. Slowly. BURN!

For 7 years straight, I have been writing. I am going to get published soon. I am going to be, one day, famous soon... and I honor you with my writing for the stupid school magazine. And HA! You better let your minions of 'friends' get published. I guess it's just sad to see that the chief editor or whoever is in authority doesn't know true English and literature. I am sorry that all you were ever exposed to was Daniel Steel and porn. I am so so so SORRY for your reading choice that you think that Stephanie Meyer is a great writer and you make fun of writers who you don't know like Catherine Fisher (If you want something real to read).

I feel so sorry for you. My heart breaks for you. Look... I am not even crying for myself. Little people i guess need little emotional boosts to carry on with their lives. It's ok. I understand.

My writing is obviously better. Have you been writing for more then 7 years continuously... obsessively? Have you reached a point in which you are actually satisfied with your writing style and found your identity on paper?

Oh ... crap. I am soooo SORRY that you don't know what I am talking about again. It's ok. You can go back and fawn over Edward Cullen. I understand.

Ok now I am not really dissing everyone who got published in the school magazine of Mosaic 2011. I mean... I appreciate a talent when I see one. Actually I don't really apperciate it, but I am become an instant fan and go all OOLLAALA over the said person.

For now... I think one of my favorite works in the magazine was of Hadia Hameed of 11CA. You, my friend, are a wonderful writer.

The rest. I am sorry. Please go read real literature and practice writing. You just wasted good quality plastic paper.

Anyhow. I already know so many people who were 'best friends' with the editor in chief. Now that I have written and vented out mostly, I don't feel as bad anymore. Hey... look... I feel a smile coming. ha... lame-on Beaconhouse Liberty Lahore. I hate you. Please, especially the pathetic teachers and the leachers of the BLL, i hope you realize that the way you are administering is just a rule. A rule... a government. When you all whine about the fact that politics this and politics that... I am sorry. but YOU are the politics. YOU are the ones 'ruling' over the student body. And there is no vote for anything. No vote for the student council. The rulers make the president whoever they want without looking at the other 10, 000 students that are paying fees (or in a rule; the increasing taxes)... you are destroying their rights. Do you think that everyone is happy? HA! HAHAHAHA... LOL. No. It's not that. Maybe you do know. But you don't care either way. Because you will hire teachers that will ask the students to come to their academies and don't teach in school, because you will scold off a student if that student wants to talk to the headmistress. Oh Miss Rhianna, do you really think people respect you with that amazingly big neck and over flowing cleavage of yours when you accuse the girls of 'running away with their boyfriends'. You have no right to say that. Absolutely no right.

The school is like a small land of monarchy. There is no democracy. There is not freedom of speech. You line up. You enter class. You listen. You are not supposed to speak out of content. There is a fair line between discipline and being... well.. THIS.

If you all think that the rulers of Pakistan, who eat and leech and don't care, are going to hell... remember all the those students and all those teachers who have authority even in the smallest of positions; you are misusing it. And that is why you are going to hell. Or i hope so you suffer at least at what you have done.

People say you are supposed to be proud of your school but I am ashamed. This piece of garment that I wore since I was able to talk has burdened me that I can't walk straight but nevertheless, the haters hate when I, despite the chains and weights, walk with my head high. Think whatever. Do whatever. Score however, the future is vast. Even though I have been facing too many failures related to my writing... it will be me who will shine brighter then anyone else. so flick away your fake straightened hair and bat your eyes and fool everyone, I will still ahead. You are all not worth my time.

And yeah. I feel much better now. Thank you very much bitches.

and I don't even effing care if anyone reads this. Do whatever. I am not gonna care.